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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

 

Army phrases you'd rather not hear!


The Americans will be providing the close air support.
You're posted to Tidworth
Fix bayonets
Your new Troop Sgt has just done P company(Para selection)
Leave is cancelled
Your dad is fcuking your sister
Pick up the log
March to the time I call out
Do you accept my award
It's character building
I'm sorry, Sir, but I've had to remove your penis and both your testicles
We've always done it that way!
You are cordially invited to the 3 Para Mortar Platoon Rohypnol Party
My office. Now.
Move to Grid 12345678 where the helicopters will pick you up at 0300.
Do you have anything planned for leave?
It's your turn to blow the blind grenade.
OK, integrity question, did you do it?
I think it's yours
Crack, Crack, Ping, Ping, THUMP.
Sunray is down.
Breaking into double time
Taking you a stage further in your foot drill......... I left you in this position
Reveille 05 early hours and Drill until NAAFI break
Contact, wait..out.
Follow me, it's a short cut.
Of course the Claymore is pointing away from us...er..which way are WE pointing ?
Good effort lads, outstanding entry drills, but it's the wrong house.
He's waking up, pass the KY, it's better when they fight back.
GAS GAS GAS
The RMP are in the block
You feature rather a lot in the Christmas duty list
I forgot to tell you, I've got herpes
You will need this opened umberella dragged from your piss slit
Don't make plans for the weekend
The PRE team have just come through the gates
You'll get it in theatre
Is that it?
We're all out of them, fill out all these forms and we will indent for them.
It's your round.
Too slow, do it again!
Standby....
Mr Vice...that'll be a bottle of port
You're in your own time now.
My tea's a salad.
Sh1t roles down hill.
Bug out!!!
Standby your beds!
You're up first. Now.
It's either cancer or penile warts.
The RSM wants your feet in his intray NOW.
Tony needs something to whip up voter support and he's decided on another war.
We're giving free lighters to Labour peers.
Right, lads, this one's a silent breach.
Bend over. This may smart a bit!
We need a decoy....
You shure got a prurty mouth.....
If it ain't raining it ain't training.
Soldier, I'm the Platoon Commander, I should have the map.
Right-ho chaps, I know where we are, follow me!

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